Welcome to Reasons Not to Kill Yourself

If you've never thought about- never even wildly considered- killing yourself, then you're probably not a real person. And by that, I mean: how can a sentient, aware, rational, sensitive being on this planet NOT at some point contemplate ending the seemingly relentless, unfair spiral of torture known as one's "life," before it's natural expiration date? I know I have. On one hand I envy those who've had the "guts" to commit such a definite, defiant act, especially in a spectacular, somewhat "fearless" way, like Kurt Cobain or the Buddhist monks that set themselves on fire. On the other hand, if one thinks of every day of life as a "gift," and considers longevity to be some triumph or victory over... society? the universe? the natural order of things?, then suicide sadly deprives those who commit it of so many rich, worth-while and essential experiences and sensations. I guess that, weighing everything out, living another day is almost always the better option. With the physical power to think, speak, move and act that comes from being alive, some potential {some hope} for positive growth and change is always manifest, possible, perhaps imminent{?}.
Those who have been blessed with such an uplifted, sunny disposition or circumstances that they've never even considered snuffing out their existence- these people probably can't relate at all to this, and think it's sad and depraved at best, or hideously morbid sacrilege at worst. For those who can relate and who have felt the walls of existence seem to close in at times like a slowly murderous vice grip, I present a list of reasons not to kill yourself. As bad and hopeless and horrible as things may seem sometimes- and they've seemed that way to ME, so I've got to assume many, many others have similar psyches- there ARE reasons to stay alive. And maybe a list of reasons is just be the thing to keep some people going.

1.} You would be slightly decreasing the population, thereby slightly dis-empowering the elected officials where you live.

2.} You would be eliminating a source of food and shelter for many parasitic organisms and bugs.

3.} You would be burdening your relatives and loved ones with untimely, unexpected funeral bills.

4.} You would be slowing down the inevitable, glorious, apocalyptic overpopulation of the Earth.

5.} You would be enabling your adversaries to make some snickering backhanded comments about you, even in death.

6.) You would be prematurely contributing to the dangerous loss of usable urban land provoked by cemetery overcrowding.